That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful writing, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.

Katherine Armstrong
Katherine Armstrong

A tech strategist with over a decade of experience in digital transformation and AI-driven solutions, passionate about bridging technology and business.